An Act of Insubordination
by Lysis
Summary: The insubordination of Hephaistion and Krateros against Alexander as King and his army. As with my stories this is historical, and has little resemblance to the Stone film. but I'm glad it was produced as it allowed for a forum to be opened up to explore and discuss these the real Alexander and Hepaistion, et al. Truth is stranger than fiction.
1. Chapter 1

An Act of Insubordination

By Lysis

(Copyright Elizabeth C. Owens, May 2014

The insubordination of Hephaistion and Krateros against the King and Army.

* * *

Part I

The ivory of the stylos cracked and broke beneath the pressure of his grip. "I swear by all that is holy… Kleon!" Alexander swore loudly and called for the duty page as the thin ivory tip snapped and his hand crashed into the ink pot sending it skittering across the top of his writing table. The thick black liquid splashed across the fine sheet of papyrus. The great splotches staining it seemed to enrage him even more. He swore loudly pushing himself away from the table and began to pace frenetically within the small confines of his private chamber.

"Hush! He swung round on his heel to admonish his dog, Peritas. The dog had caught his master's scent of frustration and was whining as he sensed his irritation. The old hound stumbled to his feet to pace beside his master.

"Father Zeus! Why? Why? What work… whose work is this? Are they both mad?" Alexander's voice rose in a sharp bark as he swung about once more to face Peritas who revealed nothing but devoted attention. The hounds' black eyes were bright with merriment and the red tongue hanging from his furred mouth showed nothing but what was normal desire for clowning. He laved an unprepared Alexander with that large wet tongue and wagged his tail widely sending familiar earthy animal scent into the tension filled air. Unbending his anger enough to laugh he bent forward taking the animal in his arms and breathed in a bit more calmly. Then his nose wrinkled - clearly Peritas still bore the strong odor of hunting upon his paws. The soft pads were thick with mud and other refuse. Sitting back on his haunches Alexander played with his dog and rubbed the paws clean on his tunic.

"Nai, nai," he petted the attentive animal lovingly. "There, you are presentable again. You are always presentable. Nai, I should relieve them of their duties and put you in their place. You'll not argue with me, you'll not do these things that try my spirit." Impatiently he rolled his eyes as he watched a black stain spread on the rich carpeting.

"KLEON NOW, DO NOT WAIT FOR THE NEXT OLYMPIAD!" Alexander bawled out as though on the battlefield and rose to his feet. Peritas' barking seemed to finally bring the attention Alexander sought. The dog stood barking at the pages as though scolding them as well then ran out toward the voice of Bagoas who was calling for him. The black curly haired youth came at a full run with Anakreon, another page following close behind. It was on the tip of his tongue to give the page a tongue-lashing; he was in such a mood that anyone who came within inches of him he would slay them with his hand if not his tongue. But, no, he had gone that route once before and still had not forgiven himself.

"It's a mess, the stylos broke, I… see to it!" He swung rapidly away from the mess of the dripping black ink, ruined papyrus and his pages. He had thought his rage had abated but the breaking stylos caused it to rise again. Or in truth he admitted as the sun had begun its descent he had begun to grow anxious and that caused his anger to rise. Hephaistion would come soon, then Krateros. Two lions in a cage… His Myrmidons. Ha, he'd like nothing but to break their backs at this moment.

They would have to speak of it. He did not want to …well there was nothing for it. The voices of the two pages seemed to spill out in the small space filling it completely.

"Quiet! I'll hear no more squabbling this day. I care not how you remove the ink from the rug, just do it quickly and in silence or by the gods…!" His sharp voice barked out his order and instantly the two youths settled about their task in complete silence. Suddenly he felt all the anger within him deflate and sank down abruptly on a campstool. "Wine, and Anakreon fetch your lyre. I would have some soothing music later, when this day is over." He gave the order simply and drank his wine thoughtfully while he sat lost in thought.

While he waited, he picked up the stained sheet. The words seemed to taunt him. He could make sense of it even though the ink had blacked half of them out and the rest had been scratched over so many times in his hasty anger as he wrote that no one but he would know what he had written. Well, there was one man who would, even if he could not read the words. He could always read his mind, almost know his thoughts even before he had coined them himself. So why…? Alexander shook his head unable to understand the matter that he had found himself embroiled in suddenly just a scant two hours before. It was to be a letter to the man, an exercise of forming his thoughts before he had to face him.

"_Hephaistion,_

_You know my reason for this exercise. I am aware even as I put ink to page in the great desire to forgo this, to ignore the need …_

_Never, never did I think to see such a thing as this transpire between us, between we three! You know what you both are to me. Haides you most of all! How much…. How I need you both. You know…. Haides!_

_Why? Why, why Tion did you engage with him knowing his desires to bait you? You know as I how shrewd he is.. Oh, but… you both, your Pluton damned tempers! Did I not love you so I would.. I would., I… ugggghhhhhhh!_

_Why did you draw us, our dreams, desires into this fray? You put as a sacrifice our hopes and vows, YOU BETRYAED THEM! Hephaisiton, you betrayed us, I have given you everything, my Self and Soul and this you spat upon today. I love you with all my being. This you know, I know you know, I know, I know, I….Haides, Haidesssssss, Hephaistion! Your life – to have to say I will snatch it away from you grieves me enormously, deeply, it tears at me and destroys me! Without you who is Alexander but an unsure man? Only you know this, so why? Why put us to this test? _

_Were you here before me now…. it is well you are not! Where did I harm you that you would harm me, my trust so in return? Have I not acknowledged you before all? I know, understand you, your pride, your gifts, your vanity as though they are my own –they are simply, they are. We are as one, you more than any und, other knows this, I understand your uncertainties, secret fears as you do mine. Why do you wound me so? Where have I failed you? I beg to know this – I beg for your voice to speak reason once again, with mine to show that great forbearance, wisdom, and genius, our teachers beheld and were awed by. Be that man! _

_The Hephaistion, he… the one I saw this day, he is the one who wars and draws against the vanities and spitefulness of Krateros, he is that callow youth who would arise from time to time. I thought him left in the past. And, Hephaistion, Gods knows, Zeus knows, I too, I am not so shining. My heart, my tongue, they too can be bitter. So well I know, like vipers… _

_I know Krateros' vanity, the unkindness that can dwell within him. the wounding that can come from his unthinking tongue. I too know his brilliance as I know yours, why do you, either of you deny this me? I know his mind, and I know yours...Haides to you both!_

There it stopped unreadable and unwritten save in his mind. He paced gulping down wine full of churning thoughts. He looked before him but saw nothing to give answers only shadows.

The shadows seemed to be in his very mind. The sound of his own breath hissing spilled outward and caught him up. He felt bereft as though a death had occurred and he could find no peace from the grief setting up inside of him. Hephaistion, images of his cascaded through his mind. When they were younger, had been happier, at less odds with both themselves and each other. When there were less problems. This was his fault, his and Krateros. Yet…

He wanted desperately to find some comfort from what had occurred. At this moment to take back his words, but also to carry them out himself toward both of them. He was just that angry and just that hurt, deeply, deeply hurt. It was almost as though something had broken that had desperately needed to be held together and now some part of him was in shambles and he found himself caught swinging back and forth on an uneasy wave of emotion. He feared it would sink him and perhaps destroy one he loved.

"Why?" The question echoed relentlessly leaving him no peace. "Why does he do this to me? It is insubordination, from both of them, but more from him because, because, oh! Gods I do hate him! This very moment, I would slay them both with this hand!" He knew he was speaking to the air and self-consciously lowered his outstretched arm and its weapon.

"Father Zeus, I am a mess. I Alexander, I this moment, I have no control." Shaking his head he set down the kopis his hand had lifted, setting it gently down and threw himself upon a stool. He began crossing and uncrossing his legs then frowned at his actions and forced himself to stillness and reflection. His hand played across the seal on his finger of his right hand. From his Father's bloodied hand it had come to him. Stroking it soothed him. Philip's voice suddenly rose within him, full of a wisdom he only now understood. How, at this moment he longed to speak with him. He would know, understand. He had warred many battles, some of the worst without swords. He understood this now. Such a futility is youthful pride. He laughed softly at his own former innocence and new bitter memories. Ah, such a thing it is to be a king, indeed! His father though…he would never have understood the one thing that Alexander knew was his greatest fear next to losing his daemon and invincibility…Hephaistion. He had admitted as much, once, and oddly looked the sadder for it.

TBC...


	2. Chapter 2

Part Two

Picks up directly after Chapter One.

* * *

After the rug was cleaned, Alexander dismissed his pages from his sight. For a moment he felt abandoned as they were such constant fixtures in his life as with the Seven who were his ever present shadow. Kleon and Anakreon had said not a word when he had found himself facing their frightened faces after he has set his kopis down. He had caught himself, smiled, pretended to good humor he did not possess and dismissed them.

He could still hear their mumbled hushed voices. Kleon's the loudest, in the outer rooms where those on immediate duty waited. His curly head had peeked through the curtain several times showing a tense face, but wary and alert least he not hear should Alexander call. The others, undoubtedly they were off cringing somewhere, gossiping and twisting their hands or with their fathers who would pose to them endless strategies to keep their king calm. And many could, they had many a time. However, when that failed they would resort to Hephaistion, but now? Many of his pages were sons of his best and closest officers, and companions and knew him well, knew how to soothe the burrs, but not today.

"Now how do I treat with my lions?" He began to pace, but slowly and drew a deep breathe of relief as he began to formulate his plans. Clearly, separate them, there was nothing for it, and well, of necessity Krateros deserved to be kept with his pride and honor intact. He knew without thinking that for Hephaistion it was beyond discussion. Would he dishonor himself? As for Krateros, he could already hear the words from the man's mouth. He was loyal no matter what. Oh, he could grumble, Zeus could he grumble! He never let his loyalty stand in the way of his opinions. Of course neither did Hephaistion, but Krateros did not have Hephaistion's understated ability to know where and when to speak to certain things.

The greater problem was to show the army there was nothing to fear, well beyond what he knew his army already feared. Today fear had sewn up men's mouths and made them tread softly. With the distinct unease as they had after Marakanda. He shuddered a moment, closed his eyes and took a deep, deep breath steadying himself leaning against his desk. Marakanda! He would mark it forever as a black day. Perhaps even the beginning of so many things that had…well, he could not turn back. He would not.

Alexander knew his army well enough. Already Ptolemy and Perdikkas had reported information they knew he would request. Who was where doing what and with whom? Hephaistion he knew had immediately returned to his duties although he did seek out Perdikkas for a talk. Perdikkas had delivered Hephaistion's very deliberate grumbled responses to their talk. He would attend him immediately at his command. However, Hephaistion was still angry, well, so was he. Undoubtedly Krateros was as well. From what Perdikkas passed on Hephaistion was angry with himself, but still raging at Krateros - enough to want to kill the man. So much for soothing tempers, Alexander reflected. However, he knew that neither Hephaistion nor Krateros would be fool enough to draw upon each other in his presence. Thank the gods for Perdikkas; he was a steady man when things could be needful, especially with Ptolemy and Nearkhos breathing down his neck.

As Hephaistion through Perdikkas acknowledged he had already caused Alexander enough grief he would not give him need for more. May this be so, Alexander said to himself as he began to gather himself and plan the night ahead. Wearily he summoned Bagoas whose soothing mood would ease him especially now when he needed it most.

"I will bathe now, then…who knows perhaps again, later." Bagoas while he swiftly gave orders for the bath eased Alexander by deliberately speaking of small, unimportant things as he set out the linen and scented oils Alexander favored. Peritas had run after a rabbit and lead him on a merry chase through the field near the stables.

"Truly, Iskander, I thought I had never seen a dog run so fast. I could not catch him up, and had to entice him with pieces of meat from the kitchens. I believe that was his goal all along." Alexander found himself laughing as he eased into the hot, water that smelt of pine and balsam. He closed his eyes letting Bagoas massage tense muscles with his expert touch. By the time he donned fresh garments he almost felt himself, again. By then Nearkhos and Ptolemy had come and gone several times. Nearkhos stayed to supervise the pages in setting up the room for the private supper.

"Alexander, a word –" He looked up from his desk as Nearkhos pulled up a chair.

"I would suggest you keep the wine to a minimum. There will be tensions enough."

"Agreed 'tis a wise suggestion." Alexander nodded chewing the tip of a new stylos. "Aye, I just… You agree with my decision? You understand? I could not put either of them under arrest. "

"I agree, who could replace them, especially Krateros with his men?"

"Ohhh," Alexander exhaled loudly shook his head in agreement and stood stretching to ease his right leg that would become stiff if he sat too long. For a moment he lost himself in thought as he kneaded the muscles of his thigh. The bath and Bagoas expert touch always eased the knotted muscles.

"How could I? Their influence is too profound with their men to undo it so. I know the army was still reeling from the last two years, so much has occurred." He did not speak of what the thoughts going through both their minds: Parmenion and Philotas' executions, Kleitos' death, the terrible rains, strange beasts and snakes that plagued them here in this strangely bewildering, but enticing land he had lead them to. He knew this he always knew the temper of his men. That he might seem to ignore it at times was not true, though it might seem that way. What would the ranker in the lines know or in truth care of the running of an empire?

What his father didn't teach him, he knew by the time he was sixteen and regent. Pay your men well, give them their drink, their whores, let them rape, pillage it kept them happy, on this he disagreed, too much chaos caused discontent. Moral discontent he felt undermined a man, especially a solider, but he knew what an army needed and he made sure they had it. That was why he held games instead, gave generous bonuses and promoted on merit rather than by deme. But he agreed - look askance at their small follies, know them as one's own, this indeed was important, but do not forgo what is necessity. What he had done today was necessary. A king does not rule without trust and an iron hand.

Starting at Marakanda men were watched. Mutiny, riot, the army had been hot for it already. There had been an unraveling for some time, ever since Marakanda. He knew, his closest aides knew, Krateros and Hephaistion, Ptolemy they among others he had looked to for order.

He could not have done without Hephaistion's brilliant mind in setting up and watching those who were discontented. They had been transferred to a special unit and Hephaistion and Ptolemy began the unpleasant business of censorship within the ranks.

The little groups had formed already, clearly some already been formed, longer than he had thought and security had always been tight. It was something he had long known as necessary, even from his earliest days of rule. Hephaistion had been handpicked for this among some of his other excellent qualities. His sterling ability to wear that inscrutable mask so well, but it was necessary. Where did that leave Hephaistion now? He could not, would not do the same to him.

"He will have my trust until they day I die." Unknowing he had spoken aloud, Nearkhos clapped him on the back to ease his concern.

"Come Alexander, it will be well. Hephaistion would never truly betray you. It isn't in him. I know his temper…almost as bad as yours, at times. I wonder sometimes you two don't knife one another." Nearkhos drained a cup of wine that Alexander had left unfinished. "Today's events…he acted badly, they both did, but ease your imagination, you more than anyone know the man well." He winked and grinned at the face Alexander made at him.

"Indeed, I do."

"Aye, and he knows you in a way I never will." Nearkhos threw back his curly black head laughing and Alexander laughed with him unable to help himself.

"Gods below only you would say such a thing."

"Aye, well recall I shared a room next to you two at Mieza."

"Scoundrel!" Alexander shook his damp curls but didn't stop the smile forming on his lips.

"Oh, aye, 'tis my way, the Kretan way, as you know." A quick wink brought the desired effect.

"Aye, you are worse than Athenians."

"Ah, I see you have not lost your sense of humor. "Tis good, or that too I would lay upon Krateros' door. Now as for Krateros he knows enough to keep his opinions to himself just now. Besides I've cautioned him to it, just to be certain." Alexander raised a fine golden brow imagining Krateros taking orders from Nearkos, the image made him grin. Perhaps in a few days, after things had calmed down he would ask him hunting. That would soothe his pride. He would do the same with Hephaistion, but separately. The thought coaxed the grin on his face into a wide smile and he set his work aside.

"We'll go hunting, you'll come? A lion…that would please Krateros."

"That would please me!" Nearkhos grinned in answer. They spoke of hunting trips in the past for a while then Nearkhos rose. "Ptolemy has your orders to admit no one, once Krateros and Hephaistion arrive. I will await with Bagoas and the pages in the outer chamber." After a few more words Nearkhos took himself off.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Part Three

Sunset, same day. Finally, Alexander confronts Hephaistion and Krateros

* * *

"I must act Agamemnon this night." Alexander reflected as he rose against the voices heralding their arrival. Who would arrive first Hephaistion or Krateros? It had been a question on his mind for hours. They arrived nearly together. That pleased him, although later he would discover both men had caused a watch upon the other to assure the other did not arrive before him. That had amused him. Good, it said enough of their obedience to him. Alexander reflected as he poured wine into two gold rimmed horns and handed them to his insubordinate _Hetairoi_ together. He thought he caught the ghost of a smile in Hephaistion's eyes when he handed him a horn.

"Tonight I act the page. Be at ease, we must serve the body's needs first." He joked as he set bread, fruit, cheese and a savory rabbit stew before them. Licking a bit of goat cheese from his fingers Alexander lay back watchful as each man began to settle in.

"I understand Peritas has nearly denuded the area of rabbits," Krateros raised a golden brow as he related how he had seen the King's dog trotting toward Bagoas' quarters earlier a brown floppy eared rabbit in clamped firmly in his teeth. "The second of the day, so said he.

"Ah, I will have to stop him of this endeavor. Well I cannot blame him for I too relish a good rabbit stew." For a moment, laughter floated upon the air. "He did not supply this meal, I assure you." Krateros eating his stew with a relish that spoken he would not have cared had Peritas dropped the food on his plate and Alexander bid him eat. Hephaistion picked at his at first then single mindedly-consumed it. Typical, Alexander reflected as he sipped wine and ate with careful measure. That was a good omen.

A quiet, rare for men such as themselves filled the small chamber. The low musical strains of flute and lyre filled the space. "Are we sons of Macedon or sedate Athenians?" Krateros joked as he raised himself upon one arm glancing at Alexander his understanding of this supper. He noted the tapping of Krateros' sandaled foot against the edge of his couch. So, he was not so cool as he showed. Good.

Hephaistion signaled his immediate attention by sitting up and setting aside his cup. He still had not met him full in the eye, this disturbed Alexander, but the words they must speak most were for one another alone and not Krateros' ears.

"Very well, now I would have the truth." Setting down his cup he leaned forward his face intent and serious. "What happened? What caused this and spare me anything but the truth. I order it." Quiet filled the room. For a moment he was almost afraid to swallow as he watched both Krateros and Hephaistion beneath his lowered lids.

Krateros licked his lips and cleared his throat. Alexander watched him intently; he also watched Hephaistion whom he knew Krateros had not realized had deliberately allowed him to speak first.

"A misunderstanding of gross proportion, a denial of my orders.

"Krateros!"

"Hold!" Quickly Alexander raised his hand silencing Hephaistion as he turned toward Krateros. "Speak, I will hear you next." For a moment Alexander felt his heart turn over as he caught the coldness that seemed to come down over Hephaistion's face. _Eumenides_ take him, he thought, I will have the truth, I must no matter how much it hurts.

Chewing his lip Krateros sat playing his fingers against the brown horn of his cup. He glanced at Hephaistion twice, cleared his throat several times. "Alexander, Lord King, I cannot allow any excuse on my part. I failed in my duty to you." A high flush filled his throat and face. Silently Alexander thanked Zeus he had kept the wine low. Krateros was a proud man to admit such a thing… Then, again so was Hephaistion… He turned toward his dearest _Hetairoi_. The urgent blinking of his long black lashes was the only betrayal that he was unsettled. Alexander knew him well he had yet to meet his eyes that spoke loudly for him.

"I as well," Hephaistion finally answered. "I have failed you as my King and _Hetairoi_." Alexander glanced at Krateros who was watching his rival with the intensity of a snake upon a mongoose. He noted the bright flush on the high cheekbones and the tightness about his mouth.

"As I recall," Alexander began as he settled back keeping his body loose to show his ease. "Some months ago a disagreement between two soldiers – infantry men both over an unapproved change in duty schedules that had led to an insubordination charge. Amyantas of Pella, was it not who went over his file leader's head, ah… I cannot recall his name? Krateros?" He glanced around quickly as thought searching for something .

"Aye, Krition, son of Kambyases and I reversed the order and sent him back to his battalion with ten lashes for his insubordination." He began to rise and then sat back down abruptly. "Alexander, we all know since Marakanda the army's mood and I have heard complaints of discontent here and there since the incident at Taxiles with the Indian mercenaries there."

"I know my army's mood." Alexander's voice rose as did his color in his throat and face. "And the men, my Macedonians and those Hellenes serving serve me, not their private alliances! We have had Persian allies among us since after Gaugamela. I will not brook this discontent! Make it known to all your men, for I tell you it is necessary."

"Alexander," Hephaistion began, "we understand, indeed, as we have discussed since before Gaugamela, it is the necessary to absorb them into the empire, but the common man in the ranks he is but a simple man, and…the incident at Taxiles, it still rankles with the men. They speak of it as an ill omen."

For a moment no one spoke, each man recalling the bloody nightlong slaughter of Indian mercanaries. "Aye, to this day, I still question…" Alexander began then stopped sighing deeply as he rubbed his hand through his hair and rose and went to fetch more wine from an ice cooled krater. "We will discuss that another time. As for the present, the men…"

"They grumble and may be headstrong, but remain loyal to you Alexander, do not doubt that!" Krateros spoke up but held his hand when Alexander would fill his cup. Alexander noted both he and Hephaistion's eyes met, a wary agreement seemed to be warming in them. Suddenly both men began to speak their words tumbling over the other to explain.

"Unhappy with his treatment, Amyntas came to me. He is a distant relation on my Father's side." Hephaistion continued. "I heard him out, but made clear I could not stand for him, we serve not by deme but as you chose. He would not stand for it, but came back twice more. I sent him back to Krateros. 'Twas not my place to interfere, I told him as much, but he would not be appeased."

Alexander sighed thinking back some months to the matter. It had been something that he had thought was finished - a minor matter. But he could see now it had been used as leverage for something more. That was now clear, and not really among the officers, but among the common ranks. It became the excuse for unhealed slights to be torn open, men began to pick fights. Discpline was never lax with either commander, but something had slipped their grasp and blown apart into something greater than either could control until it had come to what had occurred this day.

The rumblings began the waylaying of men from each unit. Factions of each unit, the fighting when drunk, the taunts, from a small, simple thing had grown a cancer. Unfortunately, for the army, sitting idle in the midst of the great rains that seemd to deluge them all without mercy it had been enough to iginite all the untouched woes and fears that each man seemed to have held back for months. When a man was knifed that was in Krateros' unit and again, Hephaistion's men seemed behind it. It had brought it to a head and that brought it back to Krateros' attention. He had sought Hephaistion again, unfortunately with poor timing.

Hephaistion, who had been wounded slightly, was just coming off a long week of exhausting duty, his temper was short, and he had taken it badly. At first there was little that appeared to happen, then as though an earthquake a sudden explosion within their ranks as their men formed up sides. Ptolemy had heard of it and rushed to speak to each of them, but by then it was too late. They had forgotten who they were, where they were and what they were doing when they went at one another.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Part Four

Continues immediately Part Three.

Many thanks to those of you who have taken the time to leave a review. It really is tremendously appreciated.

* * *

The strident barking of Peritas outside his tent which Alexander immediately recognized seemed to shake the three men out of their uneasy silence. Alexander sighed as he went toward the doorway, spoke with a page and returned.

"Very well, enough of the reasons, which are now of the past the present and future are what concern me. So, what would you suggest I do with you two?" A half smile rose upon his face, he could see neither Krateros nor Hephaistion had expected that. Krateros chewed his lip and Hephaistion sighed softly as he moved forward his long fingers playing softly upon the edge of his mantle as he spoke.

"It would seem you have already decided that." Their eyes met, for the first time Alexander could read the hurt, frustration and anger converging for dominance in his companion's gaze.

He looked at both men who this time met his gaze unflinchingly. "And I cannot take it back, though I would. Zeus knows I…"

"I know Alexander, we, I left you with no choice."

"Aye, agreed," Krateros agreed in gloomy tones. "I would have done the same. Your mercy astounds me Alexander. 'Tis your right to execute or imprison us for our actions. It was, is your right, the act was foolish…"

"Foolish?" Hephaistion looked up his blue eyes glittering as his voice rose slightly. "It was insubordinate and nothing else! I cannot offer any excuse, Alexander. I await your orders, whatever they may be." Krateros' his face white beneath the deep tan of his skin shook his head decisively in agreement.

"Aye, 'twas not the action of officers of the King were we in the ranks we would be in stockade hours ago and know to expect little mercy."

Hands on hips Alexander looked down upon their bent heads. "Well, I cannot risk such an event, again. You are both too dear to me in too many ways, even though I abhor your hotheadedness." "You are my top officers, the example for the rest to follow." He turned, paced a bit and then sat down. "I have decided that for the time being to assign you apart." For a moment he forced the hardness back into his voice that he knew must accompany the words. "I warn you both now though if ever such a thing occurs again I will carry through my original order. I cannot do anything less. There is no malice behind this decision. I abhor the thought, but I must have order in the ranks." With an unexpected exclamation of surprise Hephaistion looked up, his face flush and eyes showing raw fear.

"'Tis best I have a forward assignment. I…as with Parm…" Krateros began his voice quavering and stopped immediately realizing his words. His face white, hands shaking, but he met his King's gaze full on. Alexander raised an eyebrow at the words, but smiled.

"I agree with both your assessments." Alexander replied softly. "What no enemy has been capable of you two nearly succeeded in within the space of less an hour's time. You nearly destroyed my army. However, as I said your need is too dear to me to dismiss either of you from immediate action. Krateros you will handle all forward units. Report to me immediately in the morning I want to see your face before I see Aristander's. Is that clear?"

Krateros' blond hair glinted as he shook his head. With a great sigh which showed relief on his finely chiseled features he rose understanding he was being dismissed.

"Not yet. Hephaistion…both of you attend me before Zeus." He led them toward the private altar in his chamber and the preparations he had made. There taking up the role of high priest he kindled the ritual fire adding Arabian gums, spoke the prayers to Zeus and took up the gold sacrificial cup and before the god, filled it with sacred wine drank from it and passed it to Krateros who drank and passed it to Hephaistion. Understanding well the nature of the oath they were now bound to both men clasped hands.

Bidding Hephaistion to stay Alexander clasped Krateros on the shoulder in a friendly manner as he walked him toward the outer chambers. "Attend me for a hunt, in a week's time, 'eh? I've a ken for a good hunt, and hear there is a most kingly lion about that will set our hearts to beat with joy. What say you?" Alexander knowing the man well thought he had never seen such relief and joy upon his handsome face and grinned. Thoughtful he watched Krateros' tall, straight figure walk off proudly into the night. He would do, he decided, he would do. Krateros was the king's man with every breath of his body. Now, to the other…Alexander pursed his lips as he strode back toward the chamber where Hephaistion waited. This would take more care and be much more difficult and he could little afford a mistake. This was between companions not just a man and his king.

Into the silence between them came the far off strains of flute. A soothing melody deliberately chosen for this specific purpose, Alexander had directed Anakreon the music he desired. Hephaistion loved the flute, and as Alexander studied him he could see a slight easing of the tension in his companion's face. The blue eyes were hooded and when they set upon him Alexander could see so many emotions raging within them he longed to throw off the cloak of king and generalship and be the companion, lover he had long been and soothe his fears. For, Alexander reflected his fears cannot be any greater than mine. He wished as he had throughout the long hours of the day that he could have spoken first with Hephaistion, taken his measure before anything else. But that was the desire of the man and his needs were private and not for the satiation of the curious and envious who Alexander knew kept track of he and Hephaistion's private ways. Their partnership was twofold, and what the world saw was quite different than what only the gods witnessed in their solitude.

"I find myself hungry still." Easing himself back with a small sigh, he offered from a plate of fruit. "These are especially juicy." He held out a handful of plump, ripe brown figs. Hephaistion took one, but ate it absentmindly, his mind taken up with thoughts he would still not share.

So it is up to me, Alexander thought as he watched him. He was no longer angry, just weary, and hopeful, ever hopeful. Clearly without Krateros in the room, Hephaistion was more at ease, but his back still bore a stiffness that was translated every nuance of his actions. Knowing one another so well, Alexander could read him as though he were studying himself in a mirror. He had been surprised both men had handled their forced meeting so well. It had gone well, better than he had expected. Then again, if anyone, god or man had told him what the day would hold when he had awoken that morn he would have scoffed, never thinking such an occurrence could happen.

I must end this, else he will never speak, Alexander reflected as he scooted back upon his couch and took up some grapes choosing and eating each with a deliberate slowness.

"Hephaistion…" Finally, he looked up into the blue eyes so intent now upon his. For a moment, he felt something, a free floating anxiety pass between them, but pushed forward. This could not stand between them, it would never do.

"Al…Alexander –"

"Non," Alexander reached out his love writ clear upon his face and in the open hand. "Please, there is no need for justice between friends."

Hephaistion smiled slightly and bent his head. "Ah, so Aristotle taught us. Yet, what I did, by my actions I –"

"The King is satisfied, Hephaistion, it…it is the man who speaks now."

"I know and that I fear the most." Hephaistion sighed heavily. "I hurt you, more than that, I know what…the betrayal, the foolishness cost you. I cannot forgive myself. I do not deserve your clemency."

Reaching out gently, Alexander placed his hand upon his arm, but to his dismay Hephaistion stayed where he was, not moving toward him. "There is no need, Hephaistion I understand. The King is satisfied, it is now just we two, as we have always been. It has not changed with me. I am still -"

"I, I cannot, please, not yet, Alexander." Fear battled his defenses as Hephaistion rose setting aside all hope with his words. "I am angered in myself. I…I need time. I am disordered so…I cannot speak of it with you…this way." He turned and for a moment Alexander's heart fluttered as the tenderness came into Hephaistion's eyes as he took Alexander's hand squeezing it tightly. "Give me time."

"Of course," the words choked him, but he got them out. "Anything, you know that. I will, I am…" In the end Alexander stood as he feared, alone as he watched Hephaistion walk off into the night toward the small group of friends awaiting him. Nearkhos' reassurances did little for him, but he appreciated the kindness, for he knew them both and the anguish that must be visited upon each.

"He always has been a stubborn bastard," Nearkhos teased, "Do not forget that. 'Tis a miracle he has not knifed poor Bagoas a thousand times over. Give him time, he'll come round. I feel it in my bones. 'Tis my Kretan intuition."

Alexander laughed hollowly, and threw himself upon his bed with an oath. Yet, hope reigned hard within him as he remembered the glance Hephaistion threw him as he had turned at the last as he stepped toward Perdikkas and Medias who been awaiting him. His lips had formed the silent words that Alexander carried with him now to his bed.

TBC


	5. Final Chapter

Final Chapter

One week later.

* * *

The day rose warm as Helios bathed the land in his burning glow. From the depths of the steaming green jungle came the shouts of men at the hunt. Above the barking of dogs, cries of the beaters, chatter of beast and bird of the jungle came the earthshaking roar of a lion.

"Alexander!" Ptolemy shouted as he was nearest the direction of the mighty roars. "He comes this way, we will drive him toward you with our spears, be ready. He comes fast and will not be stopped, the desire for blood is upon him and he will kill fast if he is not checked first."

Some feet back attended by his pages and close _Hetairoi _Alexander nodded hearing Ptolemy's warning shouts and taking up the spear hefted in his hand moved forward. Momentarily, checking for the figure of a man who was not there he sighed, "Hephaistion", troubled for a heartbeat then turned as the roaring grew louder and grinned. He would recount it him and when it pleased them both, when things were smoothed between them they would hunt together as they had so long ago in Illyria. Their companions would guard the, but he would allow no other but Hephaistion the privilege of the King's spear. It was his intent this day and as his quick gaze scanned the scene before him he found his man. His grin widened and his heart leapt as he saw the lion comes into the clearing.

"A kingly beast!" Nearkhos shouted as Ptolemy, he, Krateros and several other companions watched in awe as the beast bounded into view.

"Gods below!" Selekos, son of Antiokhos, cried and stamped the earth with his sandaled foot to stay the oath. "Tis a beast of the Titans!" A season veteran of the hunt he called out to his family god as the great beast moved forward. "Alexander, 'tis the ancestor of Herakles' Nemean' lion."

"Good! It pleases me more for it will be a goodly conquest." All about him the King's men shouted in agreement and called out to _Herakles Kynagidas_. He stood in mounting excitement as the lion came into view. Indeed, 'twas a beast of myth, for it stood near man height and its fangs were the length of a man's finger. Its richly colored mane, tawny coat and clear dark eyes told it was a young lion, but clearly the leader of its pride. As it advanced, its jaws wide showing white deadly teeth, Alexander turned and nodded toward the man at his left gesturing with his hand as he stepped back.

"Krateros," he gestured his upraised spear. "He is yours."

Only a moment did the golden haired man at the King's left linger, his pleasure at the words checked him. Then advanced, spear upraised for the kill the glow of pride transfiguring him. Neither man caught the looks exchanged by the others present, neither man cared. For Krateros honor had been regained and he well deserved it, Alexander knew as he watched his companion lay on with muscle and spear to bring down the beast. As his shouts of conquest rose high, the King gave a great sigh of relief that was heard amongst his courtiers. Those closest smiled, Nearkhos winked and mouthed, "One left," before he turned back to the pleasures of the hunt.

* * *

Three months later.

Two hours past beginning of the third watch.

Rising to kindle another lamp as Artemis' bright light was dimmed behind the cloudy shadows of _Nyx_, Stefanos, one of Hephaistion's personal guard caught the sound of the King calling his name. Immediately he came to attention as the King appeared in the door of his tent pulled the hood of his cloak back and looked about urgently.

"Hephaistion, where is he? I need him."

"My Lord, he is not here, some duty called him away a month ago. Did he not…" the black haired Macedonian stopped quickly recalling he had delivered himself to the King Hephaistion's missive that called him away on duty. A frown rose upon his handsome features as he wondered what could possibly have driven the man not to keep the King updated of his whereabouts. For there was no other reason Alexander would have come here now, at this hour, alone nearing the height of the evening looking for his errant general. That he was not accompanied by his private guard disturbed him greatly and found himself gripped by fear.

"He has not yet returned?" Stefanos' shook his head. He frowned hearing a faint boyish sorrow in the King's voice. His heart began to pound, this was not at all like the King, something had happened, something very great to upset him so that he would come seeking Hephaistion in such a manner.

Quickly he moved forward, "My Lord I am here for you."

Alexander smiled faintly, but began to turn away. "My Lord, shall I, I fetch General Ptolemy or Bagoas?"

Alexander looked back giving the faint nod of his fair head. "Nai, Bagoas," and disappeared into the night. Waiting only long enough to slam his sword into his sword belt, Stefanos gave orders to his guard then headed at a fast clip toward the Persian's quarters. As he walked he reflected on the King's bewilidering behavior and decided he would also seek Lord Ptolemy. The man knew him longer than the rest, even Hephaistion. If the Persian could not aid him, then Lord Ptolemy would at least know what to do. He could give orders to call Hephaistion back, if need be. He slowed his near run to a fast walk when he realized he was drawing attention. General Perdikkas' strolling out with a companion stopped him, inquiring of his haste. What troubled the King Stefanos did not know, but he felt it was a private thing and did not want alarm raised throughout the camp that the King was ailing. He would little appreciate that! Moreover, he had asked for Bagoas not Perdikkas, so, he spoke only of some pressing personal need and pressed on.

As did all the King's closest _Hetairoi_ and those who served them Stefanos knew the King and Hephaistion were not reconciled of the events of three months past. It grieved him greatly for he knew how much Hephaistion loved not just the King, but the man and was suffering in private. What the King himself was feeling was writ all over his face, Stefanos thought as he called up the expression on the King's face, pondering some private concern that only Hephaistion could soothe. It grieved him to see the King so upset, for clearly something distressed him, so much so that he saw the glimmer of tears in the King's eyes.

Not for the last time Stefanos wished Gorgias, Hephaistion's longtime _aide de camp_ were present, but he too was on assignment elsewhere at present, most unfortunately, not with Hephaistion. That that had been by Hephaistion's orders had caught no one by surprise. The man seemed to be punishing himself and had pushed all away who might soothe or offer comfort. He, Stefanos had been in service to Hephaistion since his page training had been over, nearly twenty years now and knew the man well. Too well for Hephaistion's comfort, clearly, Stefanos reflected, for he too had been ordered to remain behind and not accompany him. He had even argued with him. Little good it had done. Hephaistion had lost his temper and ordered him to stay behind and Gorgias, who had been not even been near when they argued to some duty that had taken him away for most of the last month.

Gorgias knew how to get through the man's worst moods, well, so did the King, Stefanos reasoned, but this time…well, there was nothing for it. He would seek out Bagoas then Lord Ptolemy. He had not cared for the young Persian at first. His loyalty to Hephaistion was too strong. He was also trying hard to emulate the King's legendary self-control in all matters and the eunuch's spectacular beauty was too strong for most, even the King had succumbed. Rumor had it that once even Heph… No, he would not give such scuttlebutt the light of day, 'twas absurd. Not that Hephaistion spent his nights alone when not with the King. For many years now Gorgias had been Hephaistion's favorite _eromenos_. But that did not impinge on he and the King – that was above speculation. It was untouchable, not that one did not occasionally speculate, both men were human after all. Clearly there was much still there, only a blind man would miss it.

If anything Bagoas' coming into the Household seemed to have brought Hephaistion a reprieve from the constant pressures of his personal concern for the King. That he loved the man there was no doubt. Only a fool, or one who wished both men ill, would think they had truly fallen out. _Phila_, the love strongest among men lived in each, and as most who had known them long Eros still held them fast in his grip. Even Bagoas coming had not lessened that. However, now it was his duty to serve the King, and the man, as he being Hephaistion's man knew what would be expected of his while he himself was absent.

* * *

Early hours of first watch, some few miles from camp, same night.

Stirring faintly from the sleepy lull that beckoned him Hephaistion yawned as he neared the long end of his journey. As he pulled away from the unit commander, he motioned he would go ahead. He longed for this week's work to end. He desired a bath, food, wine, a goodly amount of wine to ease his pain and restless mind, and three day's sleep in that order. He would let nothing stand in his way of those desires he promised himself. Not even the wound that had reopened on his left thigh and needed a surgeon's care. He had quickly stitched it up himself earlier. Absently his fingers brushed against the linen wrapping it. It was wet with seeping blood. He acknowledged his skill with the needle was better than useless, but no surgeon had been present when he had taken it and as Alexander would bark at him could he see him now, he could not bleed all over God's earth for lack of a surgeon.

It lay just above the deep scar he had taken as a youth at Chaeronea. How well he recalled that day, even now. Indeed, he would never forget it. His first great pitched battle, how many since then? At times like this, weary and deep in the night on the journey back to camp he lost count of the battles. Of certain, Granikos, Issos and Gaugamela but the rest?, so many, large and small melees, the skirmish lines, defense lines at Hallicarnassos, Tyre, Gaza, long running guerilla lines that swept up every living thing into his sword in Sogdia and Baktria. Campaigns he and Perdikkas fought here in the Indias, and full all out battles like that against Poros at the Hydespes, they all melded into one. He was beyond weary. He acknowledged that. He was weary of battles on the field and within himself. He was beyond weary of his battle against the plague he had loosed upon himself when he and Krateros had fought. What a fool he had been! If Alexander could forgive him why could he not do the same?

Well, he acknowledged with a wretched grin he was heir to folly that was why! Perhaps he would… Perhaps before even seeing to his needs he would… It would be a thing Aristotle would have remarked upon, a foolish mind finds only failure. How well he knew that, Hephaistion answered himself as the first sentries came into view. He frowned, the man looked uneasy though he hailed him properly.

As he trotted through the wide outer camp he noted something amiss. The vast majority of men were awake, most odd at this hour for it was still some two hours to rising, but their was chatter sounded normal enough. Then he saw an odd sight. A group of foot soldiers, gathered about a fresh, leaping fire were weaving wreaths of flowers, gathering great piles of them, laying them gently on their cloaks as though for transport somewhere. The scent of roses, lilies and other flowers scented the air like a feast day, but he knew this was not so.

Drawing up, he dismounted, "What by Apollo do you at this hour? 'Tis long past supper and 'tis not a feast day on the morrow."

A grizzled veteran from Philip's day looked up, his dark eyes wet with tears that streamed down his thin cheeks. "The King's dog has died. These are our offerings."

Hephaistion 's eyes widened in distress as the terrible words sank into his head. "Peritas? And I was not…"

"When? When did it happen?" He flung himself back on his horse before the man's voice had left his mouth and was racing toward Alexander's tent. Flinging his horse's reins into unseen hands, he flew past the outer guard scattering all who strayed into his path. A tray of silver cups went flying and clattered like the doleful clash of arms as they fell unchecked to the ground. In his haste he kicked one which spun about and smashed into Ptolemy's feet who cried out his name, but he ran on unheeding his call.

"Alexander! Alexander!" His voice rising with concern, he nearly collided with Bagoas who came running, a sight he would rarely have expected of the young, sophisticated Persian.

"Where is he? Is it true? When did it happen? Oh, gods, I should have been here! I, I did…" He pushed the young man from him who tried to catch his hand and ran by tears of his own running unchecked down his face. He should have been here from the first. Fear and guilt clutched him and pushed him hard, such folly, pride, it harms all those we love. He chided himself then stopped panting as his eyes adjusted to the gloom of the unlit chambers. "Alex –"

He stood just beyond the open doorway of his private bedchamber. In the shadows he looked a boy in Hephaistion's eyes, his chiton torn, golden hair in disarray, the glimmer of tears on his face, a grief stricken youth as only he had known him in their deepest moments when they had been boys. He flung himself forward pulling him into his embrace. "Peritas, I heard. Oh, Alexander I am so sorry, so very, very sorry! I should have been here. I should have… When did… How long ago? I am soo.." His voice trailed off as his tears thickened in this throat making speech impossible. Alexander shook, trembling, shaking -coming apart in his arms. Harsh sobs tore at him.

This is my fault. Hephaistion acknowledged as he clutched him tighter still pulling him into the chamber. They clung together neither caring who saw. He kissed him, smothering his face, throat with kisses. So much time lost, he muttered as Alexander pulled him down and they sat together wrapped tightly in one another's arms.

"Never again, I swear by Apollo, I will never leave you, Alexander!" Presently, their tears done they began to laugh softly at their separate folly. His hands soothing the damp curls across Alexander's forehead Hephaistion heard the night's sad tale.

"I swear by Apollo, Zeus and Herakles I will go on the morrow to make right with the gods for my folly." When Alexander would silence him, he shook his head. "No, 'tis the right thing, for I was gifted by the gods when we met, when we swore our love, when we swore our vows. My folly broke them… My –"

"No, Hephaistion, you have not broken anything, I told you that." He kissed Hephaistion's hand and held it in his lap. As he spoke his great eyes shinned through his sorrow lightened by his joy. "True, I have lost one I loved, but in turn you have come back to me. That is all I ask for this day. All I could wish for now." He put up his hand to stay Hephaistion's mouth and let his lips follow them. Hephaistion answered his kiss with his own. In time Alexander smiled and said softly as he looked into his face and smoothed back his hair. "It is enough, beloved. It is all the man... I will ever have have need of."

Finis


End file.
